Numb
by Effrinae Trinx
Summary: Hayffie! Of course! We all have a weakness. Effie knows Haymitch likes the whiskey but what if his weakness becomes something new? Something so overpowering and addictive that a drop of the good stuff no longer cuts it. He's a man on the edge and knows what he likes. Effie just gets caught in the cross fire, or did she put herself there? Hope you like, please leave comments! :)


It was the first night of the quarter quell.

Haymitch had returned late to the penthouse. He'd smelt his favorite liquor as he walked through the door. There she stood, as vibrant and as gay as a challenged peacock, pouring him not one but two glasses.

'You joining me princess?'

'You don't mind?' She paused, hovering the spirit bottle over the second glass

'I don't mind' Haymitch laughed. He took the bottle from her and poured Effie her own drink.

'Thank you' she took the glass, they clinked each other's and took a long, silent sip.

'Whoa, whoa!' Haymitch protested as Effie carried on gulping. He rested his glass down and took hold of Effie's wrist, pulling her glass from her lips. A drop of whiskey slid down her chin, she wiped it with her cuff and pulled her hand back from him.

'What are you doing?' She challenged him.

'Erm, what are YOU doing? Carry on like that missy and it'll be ME carrying YOUR ass to bed tonight'

She paused at the notion. Her mind wandering for a second and then she let out a small sigh and knocked the rest of her drink back'

'Don't think I can't handle my drink Haymitch?' She took the bottle and poured her second glass

'Sweetheart, if you wanna drink, get some champagne down you. This stuff-' he snatched it from her again '- this is the hard stuff, you drink this to go numb, to put yourself into a goodnight coma'

'Numb?' She asked

'Yes, numb. Numb from the pain, numb in the head, numb to your thoughts, feelings and memories. If you wanna forget your alive for a while, you drink up'

He took the bottle with him as he slumped down onto the extravagantly sized sofa.

'You drink this all the time...' She wasn't really making a statement or asking a question. More of an acknowledgement.

'Yeah well, there's a lot of stuff I like to forget' he nodded to her half empty glass 'go easy'

In true Effie fashion, when it came to listening to Haymitch, she didn't. The second glass was polished in seconds, all the while her eyes were on him.

Haymitch tutted and rolled his eyes. 'Whatever, sweetheart. Don't come cryin to me with your sore head in the morning'

She laughed again 'oh Haymitch, you really have no idea'

He looked at her, his eyes asking her to continue

'My father was a sea captain! I spent many an eve on his ship with the crew, as a young woman!'

Haymitch raised an eyebrow 'why Effie trinket you dirty dog, you'

She shook a hand at his questioning glance 'drinking, playing games Haymitch! Nothing more! Well...' Her eyes flickered to a sudden distant memory and a smile played across her face 'there was this one time... His name was Aurellio! -'

'OK! That's enough of that! Way too much detail for me sweetheart!'

Effie sat beside him, enjoying his sudden shock at her tale.

'You think I'm so fridgid don't you? Just the uptight Capitol escort from Panem! Well well Haymitch, if only you knew, I'm quite sure we could be better friends'

She tapped her empty glass.

'I don't think so sweetheart, anymore of this and I fear you'll reveal all your secrets!'

'Would that be a bad thing? You'd know everything there is to know about me! Maybe you'd start giving me the time of day!'

Her words seemed angry but she wasn't angry in the slightest. He looked at the mystery beside him, wondering what secrets she could have hidden behind those eyes of hers, under that wig, behind that paint. He then looked at his watch. Way past her usual bed time. Why was she still here? With him? Pursuing conversation?

'I give as much time to you as I give anyone Ef. You know me, I don't have any secrets, there for there's nothing for me to reveal through conversation, and the only secrets I care to learn are the ones that lay at the end of each bottle.'

She hadn't looked up from the floor. She shook her head in amusement.

'Theres nothing you want to ask me? Nothing at all? Not one thing you wanna know...?'

'Well-' he smiled. Pouring himself another glass, leaving hers empty. 'Ive always wanted to know what you looked like under all that crap'

He winked and she huffed. Her shoulders slouching into retreat. Shaking her head and pouting her lips she got up and left the room.

Haymitch called after her 'see! We all have some secrets better left un known' he sneered and drank his whiskey.

Slowly the pang of guilt reered it's ugly head and he felt bad for teasing her again. All she seemed to want was a little coversation, a little company from him and he blew it. Sticking his fingers up at her Capitol air and grace and pushing her away, or pulling himself away...he never knew which.

But, what did she expect. He had always been this way. THEY had always been this way. like passing ships in the night, only conversing when it was duty. Only in each other's company when necessary. He knew she was feeling completely betrayed and defenceless at the new games, he knew she was considering packing it in all together but he still wouldn't talk to her about it. He was almost afraid to. He didn't want another friend. Another person to care for, to lose. He didn't want to fall for her and have his heart broken by yet another Capitol snob. She was just like all the rest and he accepted that, so she would just have to accept him!

Suddenly the door to the lounge flung open and in she glided.

'Ok! There you have it!' She marched into his view and stood there, bare faced and wig free. The silk night gown covering her body was still a little garish in maroon and blossom pink but never the less, there she was. There stood Effie trinket, the human behind the Capitol robot.

He was completely un prepared. He hadn't imagined for a second that he would ever see her this way, or indeed that she even had a 'this way' about her. He'd happily come to the conclusion that she went to bed each night in all that city crap and woke up in it too.

He was looking at a different person. Nothing like one of those Capitol clowns, she looked like one of him, a districtee.

He suddenly felt all of his defences being knocked down, his excuses for being able to be a complete and utter bastard to her where no longer permitted.

'I appear to have shocked the utter speech out of you Haymitch! I can't look that terrible-' she suddenly shifted uncomfortably 'can I?'

'No!' He stood, awkwardly and quick, too quick. He was embarrassing himself. Like a rabbit caught in headlights. Completely obliterated by her sudden confidence around him. 'No Ef! There's...there's nothin terrible about it, ah, you. You look...ah. Sorry. I'm just a little taken back, I've never seen you this way before. You look...ah...you look'

'Oh for gods sake, out with it Haymitch! Older? Uglier? Pale? Sick? What? Whatever you think, I really don't care you know! You asked and I'm showing. Im making the first step! I'm too fragile to go it alone any more Haymitch! My whole world, my job, everything about this character I have created for my career is becoming a sham! How can they do this to me! To us? To them? It's such a betrayal! After all these years! It's so unfair!'

Haymitch watched, petrified, as Effie lost it with herself, lost in her own frustration.

'Well I'm not doing it anymore! I'm not hiding myself away to blend into the glitz and glamour of the Capitol! I'm sick of being treated like a robot, like a shell, a corporate nobody? like I don't deserve to have feelings?! Well I do Haymitch! I do have feelings! I'm still a woman after all and this is what I look like! I deserve to be treated like a woman! Like a human! I need contact Haymitch! Real, physical, mental contact with another person! I can't keep going on like we hate each other! I don't hate you! I hate that you drink but I don't hate you! So, if I can get past your flaws Can't you get passed mine? my job? My clothes? my hair? Can't you just see past it all and look at me! LOOK AT ME!'

He did and he completely surrendered. He was speechless. Shocked, slightly aroused (which confused and angered the heck out of him) but his mind was blank. He had nothing to throw at her.

Effies head cleared for a second. She saw the fear, the shock, the dumbfoundedness in his eyes and realised that she had just verbally vomited all over the silence of the room. Exploded like a mad woman, let out every inch of her pent up frustration in one foul and crazy swoop. She quickly put her hands to her mouth an backed away, tears forming in her eyes.

'I'm sorry Haymitch, I'm so so sorry, I don't know what came over me. The drink, you were right! I'm so sorry'

As she backed away further he worried he would miss his chance. Never had he seen Effie so vulnerable, so exposed. Never would he be able to see it again if he didn't take the chance and make the next move. By now she had turned away from his stunned silent pose and was about to leave when

'Effie! Wait!'

She stood frozen at the door, clutching the handle. She dared not turn out of sheer embarrassment at what she had just done.

Within seconds she felt hot hands on her upper arms. Their heat burning through her silk gown.

'Dont. Don't leave ef. Please'

She released her grip on the door but did not turn to face him yet.

'I don't know what to do Effie. Tell me what to do' his voice was shaken, filled with worry. She'd never heard him like this before. However he had taken her little out burst right now, he wasn't taking it very well.

Suddenly Haymitch had so many things running through his mind but the main thing, the most overwhelming feeling he had ever had was that if he let her go right now it would be a huge mistake.

'Effie? What do I need to do? To make you stay?'

She turned to him then, they looked deep into one a others eyes. The alcohol now dancing circles in her brain, his too.

'Just...hold me Haymitch. Just hold me'

He paused, only for a second. Taking in her request and then pulling her body to his. His large hot arms engulfing her petit frame, his lips crushing against her hairline.

The feeling was incredible. His strong, long arms crossed at her back. Effie sighed into him and relaxed, she had never experienced the embrace of a man this way before. So tender, so protective, so safe. She wanted to cry out with happiness. That damn whiskey.

As Effie's hands and arms trailed up his chest and stretched to meet around the back of his neck he pulled her tighter, gripping the soft silk that adorned figure.

He hadn't been touched like this for many years, the warmth of her breath, the curve of her breasts at his chest, the hunger in her hug as she pressed him tight. He became lost in her scent, her very presence, his head spun. It was a kick better than any old whiskey had ever given him. He was numb.

Seconds turned into minutes, minutes into almost an hour as they stood together in the lounge, holding one another, rocking each other, caressing. It was all becoming a little too cloudy.

The hit of the drink slowly subsiding and her senses taking back their control she focused on the ticking of the clock, the sound of his breathing, the pulse of her own quick heart. Slowly clearing the fog from her brain she took a sharp breath, the air hitting her like an alarm at sunrise. She felt his heavy hug around her, her girlish nature exposed. Well, she thought, this just won't do!

Effie pulled away first. Her delicate face suddenly adorned her Capitol smile and she pushed herself from him gently, awkwardly. Awakened to what had just happened between them. An uninvited shiver ran through them both, their heat was instantly missed by each other. But she shook the notion away and redeemed her slipping self.

'Thank you' she chirped 'I dare say I needed that, we...we needed that' she straightened her gown as Haymitch backed up a little, his defences suddenly starting to rebuild themselves again.

'The next coming weeks are going to be difficult, I imagine for both of us, I'd very much like us to keep our professional heads around each other, although THAT was entirely my fault I don't think that THAT should happen again. I'm sorry.'

She smiled, corporately. He didn't return it.

'Its my own fault, silly Effie! I guess my drinking days with the sailors are now well and truly behind me, where they should be'

Trying to make light of the situation and trying to avoid his eyes at all costs she clung to the collar of her night gown, covering a much exposed flesh as she could.

She was excusing herself, her behaviour.

Was she ashamed? He didn't say a word. He wasn't.

'Anyway...I hope you can forgive me tonight. I'm not myself. I'm upset and angry at this whole quarter quell malarkey. I won't lose my self in front of you again, it wasn't fair. I-'

She was suddenly cut off by the pressure of Haymitchs lips against hers. He'd gone in quick and hard, holding her face to his.

Again, lost in a moment with him, the shock of it all, making her numb all over.

He pulled away too quick for her liking, she had to catch breath.

Looking straight into her eyes, his hands still cupping her face in a tender vice

'YOU may not want to acknowledge what happened here tonight ever again Effie. But know this, whatever did just happen, will stay with me for the rest of my days and I will never regret it.'

His words took her completely by surprise, as did his kiss. Now she was the dumbfounded one. This was Effie trinket! She didn't like to lose face infringe of Haymitch Abernathy. Then he would always have the upper hand and THAT would just not do!

In her greatest Capitol tone she hit him, verbally.

'You'll never be ready or willing enough to become the man that I need, Haymitch'

Ouch, That stung him a little.

She felt it immediately and regretted it insanely but what else could she do?

Fall for a drunk? Spend the rest of her days competing with his drinks cabinet? The idea of using him for abit if fun, kissing him again, taking him into her bed was all too delicious to think about. But she quickly blamed that on the drink and told herself that she would regret it in the morning. Even if she didn't, she had to tell herself she would!

She pulled his hands away and struck him again. '- but I thank you, for trying. For giving me at least a glimpse of you tonight Haymitch. A small part of the man you maybe once was or one day could have been...'

She hated herself right now but she continued to try and justify herself. '

I never will be as easy as a bottle of whiskey Haymitch'

He couldn't help but laugh, glancing over to the near empty whiskey bottle by the couch, then looking her up and down again, barely clothed and make up free... 'You sure fooled me sweetheart'

'I made a fools of myself Haymitch' she wasn't about to bite at his words again, not now, not tonight. His hug had been far too comforting. She wanted to fall asleep the that memory, not one of them arguing.

' I respect your need for it, the whiskey I mean. I don't accept it but I respect it. You. I respect your secrets too. I won't ask for them again, now let's respect tonight for what it was too and burry it with the rest'

He didn't know what else to do but nod. She was right. As much as he hated to be made a fool. He knew, He'd never be worthy of her. She deserved far better than a bitter drunk by her side.

He watched her leave. Knowing full well it would probably be the last time he saw her that way. Tomorrow she would become the Capitol darling she always was in her array of colour and glitz. She would look at him with pity and annoyance and he would snigger and down another drink. The games would play out, the victors would not be theirs and they would part for another year.

And so Played the ever endless circle in his head.

Until, in the circle, he saw...it had a dent. no...not a dent, a small hole. The contents of his imaginary circle of life began to spill out into his mind. Hot whiskey and silk, silver sweat and an array of colour and...and glitz.

'That god damned whiskey!' He growled.

Then he took the bottle away with him to his bed. Nothing much to hold now but warming non the less.


End file.
